THE PROBLEM IS YOU!
Okay so I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and she was asking me how to tell her man that she wants him to do certain things for her. Well after maybe a hour of questioning her I came to the conclusion that the reason their sex life was DEAD was because of her.
I am not sure where this belief comes from … expecting someone else to press all our buttons and figure out how, when, of what and how much we like ? If we were talking about anything else but sex we will surely protest and declare that we know what we like and how we like it … our food, our clothes, our holidays etc.
Don’t get me wrong, men are not completely innocent when it comes to sharing what they want and like sexually. The difference, in my opinion, is that most men do know what they like sexually but do not share their desires. On the other hand, most women get stuck at the first hurdle of not knowing what they like sexually, for fear of trying to figure out what they might, or might not enjoy.
So, while we are not always sure what we want – we expect our lovers to know exactly how, when and where to touch us, and even have the intuition to know when not to touch us! Does this sound familiar, and even somewhat of a paradox ?
I often say that “we are individually responsible for our own pleasure, and our own orgasms” and this usually results in the few raised eyebrows. What I mean here is that we need to start with ourselves and find out our own likes and dislikes. We need to learn what turns us on, and off, and then share this delicate information with our lovers – because no-one is a mind reader and none of us are born with an instinct to know what another likes sexually.
So with that said honies…THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!!